The Oxygen Mask

If you are like me, you spend much of your waking hours looking after others. We look after our children, partners, parents, friends, colleagues, patients and/or clients. The idea of "me" time falls to the bottom of the priority list...because there is just NO time!

Now I ask this question: have you ever been on an airplane? As a significant part of safety preparation, stewardesses tell us that in event of an emergency, and the cabin pressure changes, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling panels. They show us how to put the masks on our face, and then show us how to tighten the straps to ensure the best fit. Stewardesses then tell us "if you are seated beside someone who requires assistance, please put your mask on FIRST before assisting them". Why? Because if we plan to help them first, and we're not breathing ourselves, we'll both be in big trouble!!!

Now moving back to that priority list...if we are not taking that oxygen for ourselves first, if we are not finding balance in our days, if we are not "protecting" our own needs, if we are not placing ourselves at the TOP of that priority list, we are at risk of a multitude of physical and health problems.

So, if you can remember to include balance in your daily and/or weekly routine, and protect your own time to reach for that oxygen mask, you will discover that you are a stronger caregiver to all those you care about.

Now think about it: easy to achieve, or not?

If you need a little assistance with your own oxygen mask, please feel free to contact me.

...and keep breathing!

Alyson Pancer, BSW, MSW, RSW, Registered Clinical Social Worker/CBT and Mindfulness Therapist, continuumwellness.ca


Alyson

4 Ingredients to Successful Family Relationships

Are you married with children?
Living in Western Society?
Has life become so busy that there is no longer time for just you?
Are you AND your partner, due to divided loyalties,   spending every waking moment with your child(ren)?
When's the last time you and your partner were out on
A DATE?

As we move through life, we pass developmental milestones.
As babies, we're expected to roll over, sit, eat solid foods, crawl then walk by a certain age.
As children, we're expected to learn the three "R's"... Reading, Writing, and  aRythmetic.
As teens, we're groomed to move towards independence.
In our youth, we're expected to complete post secondary education, find a job, and find a lifetime partner.
From there, we may become engaged, plan a wedding and/or elope, or scrap it all by committing to a "common law" relationship, and plan a home together.
Then the next expectation comes along: kids...............One? Two? Three? More?

Now I ask: Have you taken a breath yet?

As we move through these life cycles, we DO forget to pause (or breathe). We forget to pay attention to the lifelong dreams and goals we had: find our soulmate, settle down, and live happily ever after.

Sound like a fairy tale? It CAN be done.

Here's how:

There are 4 ingredients to a successful family relationship...
1) you, 2) your partner, 3) you and your partner, AND 4)  your family unit together.    

The SECRET? Protected time for each. In other words, ensuring that each "ingredient" has time that is theirs, and theirs alone.

For example:

1) and 2) Both you and your partner take time SEPARATELY on your own for self care, fun, friends, exercise, entertainment, travel...whatever you agree to, on a regular basis. This will provide you with the "oxygen" you need so that when you are with each other and/or the family unit, you will feel strong rather than depleted and/or burnt out.

3) You and your partner together...This is where you make time for DATES! Weekly, bi-weekly, monthly...whenever it is "doable". Dates remind you as to why you chose to spend your lives together in the first place!  Dates can be an hour to several hours long. Some dates last overnight, to week(s) at a time. Whatever you do, the importance is protecting that time together...without the kids! (BONUS-the kids may actually look forward to time without their parents :)

4) Your family unit together...let's face it: once we have children, don't we most often spend most of our time as a family unit (until the kids become teens and we have to beg them to "chill" with us)? However, along with the gifts being together with the family bring, there are also the challenges. YOU know what I mean!

So...in closing, ensuring that there is a harmonized balance between you, your partner, both of you together, and your family together can help you and your family be happy...more often!

For more details, and/or for more support for you, you and your partner and/or your family, call me,
Alyson Pancer, BSW, MSW, RSW,Clinical Social Worker/CBT and Mindfulness Therapist @ Continuum Wellness, 416-913-3080 ext 302, www.continuum wellness.ca

Why Electronics Are Tearing Us Apart

I nearly broke down in tears one night over the dinner table.  But I knew it was probably best to refrain from dropping salty drops into my soup, which was already over salted. Then I couldn't decide if I was going to put on my professional hat or my Mom hat. It seemed to be happening all the time...we were no longer a family of four, but a family of four PLUS hundreds of friends, family, work collegues, teachers or professors, etc. connected to us 24/7 through our smartphones, IPods, laptops, etc. I was quite sure that when I prepared dinner, it was only for the four of us. So why did so many people end up at our dinner table? Why did my three boys (hubby included) have to have their electronic bugs with them and place them beside their cutlery? Weren't forks, knives and spoons enough for a happy meal?

It all brought me back to the good ol' days, those days when we could only be interrupted by the telephone, there seemed to be much more time for lengthy,  uninterrupted conversations. We spoke about our days, good times, bad times, told stories, shared jokes, etc. I tried to insist that television time was separate from meal time. It worked, most of the time. When the kids were little, I would not pick up the phone, but would have my assistant (a.k.a. voicemail) take a message. I was confident that whomever was calling did not know we were having dinner, and unless it was an emergency, would not want to interrupt us. They would then, happily, leave a message, which I would happily return ASAP (after dinner).

After dinner is then another story. We split off into separate directions. My hope is that we can all curl up by the fireplace during the winter, or on the back deck during the summer, with a board game, good book, or cheerful conversation. But, the reality is: more distractions to separate us. With the TV on in the livingroom, laptops await! So, like a good Girlscout, before everyone scatters, I ask the boys if they want to  "chill" as a family with an activity, and the answer I get is, "great idea, Mom. Dad has picked up a video for us to watch".

And so, while we spend our family time together watching a movie, I notice the odd "ding" or "vibrate" make it's presence known. I look up, only to notice that my boys are multitasking. Text conversations continue even during movie time!

As a result, I have decided to resign my frustrations...after all, "if you can't beat em, join em!" As an advocate of ongoing communication, self-care, and togetherness, perhaps the world of electronics can help to facilitate that. Right?

I think I will have to choose my battles. Preserve dinnertime, where all cellphones remain off limits until dinner is over...clean up and all. Then surrender to the powers that be...as long as homework is done, chores are complete, the dog is walked, snow is shoveled, etc, etc.

Now, where did my power cord go? I'm running out of batteries!

Alyson 

The Mind/Body Connection

“Please don't ignore me”...The Mind/Body Connection

Do you remember the last time you had a bad cold? Or perhaps it was the stomach flu? When was the last time you had a terrible headache...perhaps you get migraine or cluster headaches all the time? 

Take a moment to think about what you have learned over the years, since you were a child, about how you can take care of yourself to feel better. As a child, if you told your mom or dad that you didn't feel well, did they take your temperature? And, if you had temperature, you may have been told something like, “oh, honey, you really are NOT well. You need to stay in bed and I will take care of you”. Do you remember feeling a warm sense of relief, knowing that not only did you NOT have to go to school that day, but you would also be able to stay in bed while being pampered all....day....long. 

Pampering would include a menu that would look something like this:

8 a.m. Medicine for your symptoms, with a tall glass of water

8:30 a.m. Back to sleep

11 a.m. Wake up

11:05 a.m. Juice and jello snack

12 noon Take your temperature again, then more medicine

Afternoon Spend the afternoon having lots of rest, liquids, perhaps some chicken soup, medicine as required, rest some more.

By the end of the day, lots of your family and friends were either calling or sending electronic messages of concern, offering to bring more liquids or snacks to you...just to help make you feel better :)

As you grew, these self care strategies to overcome these maladies likely continued, with perhaps more sleep, less phone calls, and Mom going off to work while you stayed home to doctor yourself up.

Sound familiar???

So, now I ask these questions: 

What do you do when you are having panic attacks, and you don't know

why, nor how to control them?

What do you do if you are so sad that you can't stop crying, unable to concentrate, have difficulties remembering recent events, are not 

eating or are eating too much, have headaches and/or stomach aches, 

prefer to spend time alone so as not to burden others, and choose to

sleep all day?

What happens when you spend almost all of your awake time working, 

while feeling stressed and exhausted, unmotivated, increasingly 

helpless, hopeless, resentful and cynical?

Do any of these situations apply to you? If you say “yes” to any of the above scenarios, then you may be living with anxiety, depression, or job burnout. And there are so many reasons which have contributed towards your feeling this way. Perhaps you have been spending most of your life moving forward on what seems like an endless road, or a “treadmill”, and you have become, or are  becoming exhausted. 

Did you survive an accident, and since then feel like life has never been the same? Perhaps there were events in your life, since childhood, that have contributed to how you cope, or don't cope, with life's ups and downs. Could it be possible that your relationships are unhealthy? Or, maybe you have become so busy that there is no time left for just YOU!!!

Living in our western, democratic society, most of us are all consumed by the quest towards materialistic gain. In addition, we grow up with expectations from our families and society that compound what we come to believe we “have to” achieve in order to fit in and/or be accepted. The multiple layers of expectations we live with can contribute to our mental health. If they are realistic expectations, our mental health can be healthy. If they are unrealistic, our mental health can be compromised.

But, we keep on moving. We keep up with what is expected of us, as Canadian citizens, parents, students, employees, co-workers, volunteers, partners, family members, children/teens, friends, homeowners/rent payers, tax and bill payers, etc. The multiple roles we continue to uphold can become overwhelming!!!

So, remember the beginning of this blog? The care we afford ourselves when we feel physically sick? Here is the question I would like to ask:

What is the difference between care of our physical health and mental health? Can we move through life with one and not the other? If we can give ourselves permission to go to a doctor, or stay in bed and “doctor” ourselves when we are not feeling physically well, why can't we do what we need to look after our mental health, as well?

The stigma connected to mental health continues to stop many of us from seeking the help we need. But if approximately 25% of all Canadians are living with some form of mental health disorder*, isn't it time we start paying attention to our mental health as well?

*I believe the reality of this statistic should be higher, as this number represents those Canadians “known” to be living with a mental health disorder. What about those who continue to suffer in silence due to stigma, fear, and/or shame in disclosing a mental health challenge?

So, I close with making the following recommendation: if you are living with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, post traumatic stress, family or relationship challenges, social problems, are feeling overwhelmed at work, are not sleeping, or other mental health issues not listed, take some time to take care of yourself. Similar to your physical health, pay attention to your mental health. Your body needs you: both physically AND mentally.

...and

...Call me for a FREE 15 minute consultation so that we can talk about how you are feeling, and how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Mindfulness Based Therapy, and Social Work can help you begin your journey towards healing. 

Here's how to contact me:

Telephone: 416-913-3080 ext. 302

Email:  alyson.pancer@gmail.com

Website: www.continuumwellness.ca (open “Services” tab for more information about me).

Sunscreen Safety

The long weekend is coming!

But before you head out to bask in the beautiful summer weather on one of the last long weekends of the summer (where does the time go.....);  take a moment to review        Dr. Tara Sloan’s sun safety tips!  

Is your sunscreen safe?  Are you really getting the SPF protection you think you are?  Read on to find out! 

Photo taken by Simon Remark of Ecstatic Photography

Sunscreen Safety:

• Check out the Environmental Working Group’s website for their annual sunscreen review- search your favourite brand to see how it rates!  http://breakingnews.ewg.org/2011sunscreen/

• Mineral-based sunscreens (those containing zinc oxide and titanium dioxide) are the safest and available at any health-food store and many large chain grocery stores.  They provide both UVA and UVB protection.
• My favourites?  Badger, Green Beaver, Alba botanicals, Burt’s Bees; 
• For kids faces (or adults too)my absolute favourite is the Badger SPF 30 Face Stick- SOOOO easy to apply around little eyes and noses-my 2 year old even likes to do it herself (after I’ve made sure her face is covered of course!).  
• Many of the mineral sunscreens will appear white when first applied (unless they say non-whitening); the whiteness will fade once rubbed in and over time.  

• Avoid sunscreens containing OXYBENZONE this ingredient has been linked to allergic reactions and estrogen-like hormone disruption- YIKES!!  If you prefer to use a non-mineral based sunscreen look for one containing Avobenzone (Parsol), which appears to be safer.
• Avoid using sunscreen on infants 6 months of age or younger unless adequate clothing and shade are not available.  It is advised that sunscreen only be applied only on exposed areas when absolutely necessary in infants.
• SPF ratings are very misleading- don’t waste your money on anything higher than an SPF 30.  Instead be sure to apply enough, and re-apply every few hours – especially after sweating and swimming (regardless of what the label says about waterproof/resistance).  Proper (amount) of application and frequency of re-application are more important than using a higher SPF.
• A shot of sunscreen?  The ‘average’ adult body (covered in a one-piece swim suit) requires about 1.2oz (about a full shot-glass full) to adequately cover the entire body and achieve the actual SPF listed on the product. 
• Did you know that most people apply only one-half to one-fifth the amount of sunscreen used in the laboratory to establish the SPF?  This cuts the SPF protection by a factor of 5!!!!  
• In other words with the amount of sunscreen most people are applying we are getting only about SPF 2.3 protection from an SPF 30 product and SPF 100 becomes just SPF 3.2!!!

Sensible Sun Safety Tips:  

• The sun’s rays are strongest mid-day (from approximately 11am-4pm).  Avoid direct prolonged exposure to unprotected skin during this time.

• Wear protective clothing, hats and eye protection (with broad spectrum UVA & UVB coverage).  
• SPF clothing rated 15-24 is ‘good’; 25-39 ‘very good’ and 40-50 ‘excellent’.
• Normal clothing will lose its protective ability if wet.
• Use extra caution near water, snow and sand where the reflection intensifies the amount of solar exposure!

Coming Soon: Feeling burnt?  We’ve got you covered (since clearly your sunscreen didn’t......lol);  check out the natural sunburn soothing remedies on our next blog post.

Related Topics: Vitamin D: Are you getting enough?

Dr. Tara Sloan, ND is your Neighbourhood Naturopath! 

Serving Yonge-Lawrence Village and surrounding area at Continuum Wellness 
www.continuumwellness.ca 

For more information about how Toronto Naturopathic Medicine can help you and your family call us at 416-913-3080 or email: naturopath@continuumwellness.ca

Continuum Wellness at Yonge Lawrence Village Day

Continuum Wellness at Yonge Lawrence Village Day, a photo by Continuum Wellness on Flickr.

RMTs Nicole Slumskie and Jessica Tang giving chair massages to promote health and wellness at the Yonge Lawrence Village Day fair.

Continuum Wellness at Yonge Lawrence Village Day

Continuum Wellness at Yonge Lawrence Village Day, a photo by Continuum Wellness on Flickr.

Dr. Tara Sloan made herself available throughout the day to talk about the benefits of naturopathy.